Stumbling Tongues

Goodbye, October… Hello, November. (Where has the year gone?!)

I’m savoring these crisp and clear autumn days while they last—the climax of nature’s most colorful pageant. My favorite season indeed.

But it’s a melancholy season too. A time of reflection:

Every autumn, I find my thoughts curling inward, like the fading edges of fallen leaves, as another year descends to a close.

I can’t help but think about unfinished plans for the year, all that I foolishly hoped I’d accomplish and all that I haven’t yet done… Expectations can be tricky things, part good part bad, and we seem to spend most of our lives navigating that fine line between chasing expectations (what we want, what we think should happen) and embracing what IS.

When we tally up our highs and lows for the year, it’s easier to remember our disappointments and losses, isn’t it? (Even for happy occasions, we can remember what didn’t go according to plan.) Perhaps we’re focusing on the wrong things. What if our expectations, our perfect plans, prevent us from seeing joy and beauty in the ordinary and the unexpected?

“A writer for The Washington Post conducted an experiment to test people’s perception. He asked a famous violinist to perform incognito at a train station in the nation’s capital one January morning. Thousands of people walked by as he played, but only a few stopped to listen. After 45 minutes, just $32 had been dropped into the virtuoso’s open violin case. Two days earlier, this man—Joshua Bell—had used the same $3.5 million Stradivarius for a sold-out concert where people paid $100 a seat to hear him perform.

The idea of a person not being recognized for his greatness isn’t new. It happened to Jesus. ‘He was in the world,’ John said, ‘. . . and the world did not know Him’ (John 1:10). Why did people who had been expecting the Messiah give Jesus such a cold reception? One reason is that they were surprised. Just as people today don’t expect famous musicians to play in railway stations, the people in Jesus’ day didn’t expect Messiah to be born in a stable. They also expected Him to be a political king—not the head of a spiritual kingdom.” — C.P. Hia (Our Daily Bread, 10/31/11)

How often do we miss the work that God is doing in our lives because it doesn’t “look” the way we expect it to?

What if, instead of regretting losses and disappointments, I give thanks for where I am right now and celebrate the small gifts of grace I’m given each day?

After all: “It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” — Brother David Steindl-Rast

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Is there a time of year that makes you more reflective? What expectations are you wrestling with this fall? How do you practice gratitude? I’d love to hear what you think.

{ Image credit: Bert Kaufmann via CC by 2.0 license }

Today, I’m giving thanks for small things.

It’s been a perfectly cool and stormy day. Our first taste of brisk autumn weather.

After the rain passed tonight, I took Buddy for a walk.

We dodged puddles and stray leaves, and I noticed the eerie beauty of a rain-washed landscape.

The city streets were momentarily still, the silence broken only by a steady stream of water from the downspouts and storm drains.

The roses out front took a beating from the storm, season-spent petals scattered across the sidewalk.

The pansies drooped gracefully, like heads bowed in prayer, and I noticed the tiny, crystalline beads of rain dotting the surface of each flower.

I’m filled with awe when I remember that God didn’t HAVE to make the world beautiful. Lilacs don’t have to smell as sweet as they do. Sunlight doesn’t have to stream down from the clouds in shafts of heavenly light. Tree branches don’t have to weave delicate, lace patterns against the sky.

But God CHOSE to create these beautiful things, to display His goodness, because He loves us and wants us to savor the beauty of His creation.

How can we take all of this beauty for granted?

I’m trying to teach myself to be mindful, to pay more attention, to notice more in the world around me — and above all, to give thanks for these small moments of beauty when I see them.

It’s easy to miss what’s beautiful and good in the world when we forget to pay attention, isn’t it?

So. . . how do you try to stay mindful in the rush of everyday life? Is there a place where you love to go to find inspiration or enjoy nature? What have you seen recently that’s inspired you?

P.S. As part of my Be Creative Every Day challenge, I’m also trying to embrace my not-so-fancy camera and improve my photography skills. It’s a big learning curve, but I kinda love how these flower pictures turned out. (Not too shabby for me & my old Canon Power Shot!) What do you think of them? Any tips or photography websites you can recommend?

My heart is heavy today.

I often feel like I can’t understand my jumbled thoughts until I write them out. These words, however small and clumsy and insufficient, give me comfort and (at least a bit of) clarity.

I’m tired of keeping my thoughts to myself, of hiding in the shadows. So I come to the keyboard in prayerful, hopeful uncertainty… Please help me understand, Lord.

Why do people hurt each other so much? Why aren’t we kinder and more thoughtful to our fellow travelers?

We’ve all suffered pain and heartbreak, and so you’d think we’d all wish to do better, to avoid causing hurt to another. And yet we silly mortals persist in our thoughtless ways, doing the same dances, making the same mistakes. Oh, we “flare and dive and flounder” indeed.

A couple things happened this weekend that made me very sad, and though I can’t go into detail, as they’re not my secrets to share, I feel overwhelmed by the sadness of seeing people I love hurt and feeling hurt along with them.

Intentional or not, all thoughtless words hurt. And sometimes I think the most hurtful words of all might be those thrown offhand, in jest, when the offender is so ignorantly, blissfully unaware of causing offense. It’s belittling to realize that your feelings are so terribly below their radar—or worse, the butt of a joke—and yet, is it really their fault if they didn’t intend to offend? At times like those I feel ashamed for even feeling hurt in the first place, for being too tender-hearted. (Highly-sensitive, they call it.)

What’s the point of all this pain and worry? Why do You allow us to feel these things, and more to the point right now, what am I to do with it all? All this anxiousness boiling over in my heart? I want to write. I want to cry out. I want to sing. And yet, these words, these tiny, insignificant words, feel so worthless and unimportant. What do You want me to do?

I know we’re all put on this earth for a purpose. I know I don’t feel these things for no reason. So tell me, God, what purpose have you designed me for? What good work am I meant to do in Your world?

I’m waiting… I’m listening… Please show me.

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What are you waiting to hear from God?

{ Original photo credit: Pete Birkinshaw }

“Whoever drinks the water I give will never be thirsty. The water I give will become a spring of water gushing up inside that person, giving eternal life.”
— John 4:14

My oh my, it’s been hot out there! With a scorching 100°+ heat index outside, the A/C has been working overtime the past few days.

{ How fitting that this week I’m re-reading Max Lucado’s Come Thirsty. }

Despite the heat, we spent our Friday evening picnicking on the grounds of the state capitol for the Des Moines Symphony’s annual Yankee Doodle Pops concert and fireworks. It was surprisingly pleasant after sunset with a steady breeze and plenty of refreshments to keep us cool.

One of the perks of living downtown is avoiding traffic & parking headaches for big events like this! As we walked the few blocks home last night, I had to smile to myself as I watched a couple of especially grumpy, honky drivers stuck in an hour-long traffic jam. I’m so thankful for living where we do!

Today and tomorrow, we’re walking over to the other side of downtown for the annual 80/35 Music Festival.

Even though it’s cooled down slightly today (high of only 86°!), we’ll be stocking up on plenty of water while we’re out and about this weekend. I’ve got my trusty aluminum water bottle packed & ready to go!

On a hot, sticky day, there’s nothing quite like a long, refreshing drink of cool water or a splash through the fountain. Ah, sweet renewal!

Hot, summer weather like this is a perfect reminder, of course, for the other vital piece of us that needs hydration:

“Deprive your soul of spiritual water, and your soul will tell you. Dehydrated hearts send desperate messages: Snarling tempers. Waves of worry. Growing mastodons of guilt and fear. [Do] you think God wants you to live with these? Hopelessness. Sleeplessness. Loneliness. Resentment. Irritability. Insecurity. These are warnings. Symptoms of a dryness deep within.

Perhaps you’ve never seen them as such. You’ve thought they, like speed bumps, are a necessary part of the journey. Anxiety, you assume, runs in your genes like eye color. Some people have bad ankles; others, high cholesterol or receding hairlines. And you? You fret.

And moodiness? Everyone has gloomy days, sad Saturdays. Aren’t such emotions inevitable? Absolutely. But unquenchable? No way. View the pains of your heart, not as struggles to endure, but as an inner thirst to slake–proof that something within you is starting to shrivel.

Treat your soul as you treat your thirst. Take a gulp. Imbibe moisture. Flood your heart with a swallow of good water.”

– Max Lucado, in Come Thirsty

Oh, so true!

I made myself another little reminder to hang on the inspiration board above my desk:

This is Max Lucado’s “Prayer of the Thirsty.” Take it and use it, if you like, whenever you’re feeling a little dry and parched!

{ If you’d like a higher resolution version, contact me. I’d be happy to share! }

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Wishing you a safe and blessed holiday weekend! Happy 4th of July, everyone!